Monday, July 28, 2008

it's painful in an artistic kind of way

It is painful to be an artist, but that pain is what keeps me going. There is a little voice, a feeling, well... I don't know how to describe it. There is something inside of me that can't ever be satisfied. Every time I see a great photo I have taken, I can only be happy for a moment. A brief moment. It isn't long before I see imperfections or before I start criticizing how I can do it better next time. On the outside I get compliments, I get rewarded by the audiences that interact with the work I create. I think that reward is what fuels the fire. That little something inside of me will always be hungry for something else... something new, something different, something bolder, something louder. There is no end to that hunger. If that day were ever to come, the day that I felt I had reached the pinnacle of my talent, I could no longer be an artist. And I would be mistaken to ever feel that if I did. I hope that day never comes because secretly that insecurity that makes me an artist and pushes me to try harder is what brings me so much joy in my life. I love being an artist, even when it hurts.

~Maggie